I was supposed to stick to a simple rule, i.e. post on Mondays and Fridays without exception. Well, the prohibited exception happened much to early and I'm not too happy about it. It's Tuesday, and my only excuse for not posting either on Friday or yesterday was the fact that I was traveling from Athens to Paris with my one-year-old and there was too much to do once we got here, mostly involving organizing the premises for a smooth transition for P., my son. Untold rule No 2: I was also not supposed to bore you with constant references to P. but I guess I can't help myself sometimes. So I'm going to go ahead and tie this all up with some thoughts on a really interesting article on motherhood. It's an article forwarded to me by my husband, after it kept being on top of the "most read" list every single time he checked the WSJ website. At some point he gave in and started reading, and suggested that I follow suit.
It's by Amy Chua, a professor at Yale Law School and a mother of two little girls. The WSJ article actually constitutes an excerpt from her recently released book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I read the article with mixed but equally strong emotions. For those who do not have time to read it, it's about the superiority of the Chinese way of raising children, and specifically, about the choices and strategies of a Chinese mother, based on first-hand experience. Chua, who is a Chinese-American mother, making the stereotype even more specific, maps out the differences between a “Chinese mother” and a “Western mother”, claiming that in contrast to the latter, the former type does not care at all about the child's psyche, believes that her children owe her everything, and that she knows what is best for them. For the Chinese mother, her child can excel in anything as long as serious work is involved; hard work can translate into fun when well-deserved praise is offered honestly and whole-heartedly after the child has truly succeeded in something.
It's by Amy Chua, a professor at Yale Law School and a mother of two little girls. The WSJ article actually constitutes an excerpt from her recently released book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I read the article with mixed but equally strong emotions. For those who do not have time to read it, it's about the superiority of the Chinese way of raising children, and specifically, about the choices and strategies of a Chinese mother, based on first-hand experience. Chua, who is a Chinese-American mother, making the stereotype even more specific, maps out the differences between a “Chinese mother” and a “Western mother”, claiming that in contrast to the latter, the former type does not care at all about the child's psyche, believes that her children owe her everything, and that she knows what is best for them. For the Chinese mother, her child can excel in anything as long as serious work is involved; hard work can translate into fun when well-deserved praise is offered honestly and whole-heartedly after the child has truly succeeded in something.
Having said that, there's a lot of shocking factor involved, including evidence of screaming, pushing the child to unnecessary limits and anecdotes about not allowing sleepovers, playdates or to get “any grade less than an A”. Many have reacted through comments on the WSJ site, blogs devoted to motherhood and other media. However, there is something else to consider here. According to Chua, Chinese mothers focus on “letting [their children] see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away”. She juxtaposes this with Western mothers who focus on nurture and security. And just like that, by the end of the article, cosy words like “nurture”, standing on their own, seem irrelevant to the goal of building the right foundations for bringing up a stable and self-assured person who understands the value of hard work and what it can offer him in life – rest assured that I'm talking less about money and/or fame and more about actual happiness.
Personally, I know I'm not a Chinese mother, and that is not only due to reasons related to race. I am a Western mother who will probably skip the three-hour daily music practice rule that Chua enforces in her home, and who soon after posting this entry, will go back to her inbox and read Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop newsletter about a day in the life of three working mothers (including hers and Stella McCartney's). Gwyneth is no Yale professor, but I guess everyone should be able to enjoy a variety of inspirational sources to make up their own little plan. So off to read Goop while Chua's book gets ordered on Amazon... Anyone else inspired?
I haven't read Chua's book, let alone followed Gwyneth Paltrow's advice, but I have raised three very healthy children by following "common sense"rules..and a little bit of spoiling them from time to time has never proven wrong!
ReplyDeleteSo follow your heart!